Hex
by MeshAndLace
Summary: Gold. Red and gold. These were the last colors I took in before a slight whimper escaped my lips and I succumbed to the black and to the feeling of being utterly and completely alone. A twist in the tale of twilight. Stephanie owns the world completely and I am only un-content visitor craving more. Rated M for the multitude of possibilities that I could move this story. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Hex**

 **Chapter 1**

It's hard to describe being alone. Not the alone you feel when sitting somewhere having a cup of coffee by yourself because your friend bailed. Not the type where you see lovers walking , hands linked, and wonder why Tommy in 5th period won't ask you out. It's the type where you feel that if you stay where you are standing, you could honestly be the only person left in the world. My views most every day consist of trees, mountains, running quickly out of sight either left or right, but rarely do I indulge myself with the pleasures actually being around others. For what I am, it's dangerous. A runaway. The outlier on the graph of society. A giant question mark.

It used to happen too often, when I would tire of only having the nature around me as company, that I would find myself in a grocery store parking lot, or park. I'd go almost unconsciously just to soak up the feeling of being around people. Listening to phone conversations, the laughs of children playing, petty arguments between married couples over what was for dinner that night…. It made me feel as if I belonged among them. Somewhere. Eventually though, it would happen. "It" being the stares. As clean as I could get myself in a gas station bathroom, there was always a bright neon sign that seemed to buzz above me like a scarlet letter. "Homeless". "Doesn't belong." It was when I absorbed those looks that the illusion of inclusion evaporated into the air like vapor. Then the stress would start. Then the fear. Then the pain.

If only it were the pain of feeling unwelcome.

Unfortunately, these anxious feelings that would creep on me like a silent predator always seemed to bring about my personal and true "scarlet letter". It starts out as the feeling of my pulse pounding away morse code messages to me through my chest and neck. "Run. Run. Run." Then it goes to my head as an immovable weight of pressure that seems to have the power to push me straight through the earth beneath my feet. Next it works it's way through my arms to my wrists where the pain becomes an almost audible scream emanating from below my palms. The fire that burns from them is unbearable. The heat never fails to leave it's mental and physical wounds. Once it hits my finger tips is when I feel the mounting fear reach its peak and I bolt. My feet sadly never get the hint at the first signal.

Stupid Bella. Stupid.

I know better. But, as if in a trance, I find my way into these situations over and over. I still can't figure out if it's ever worth the feeling of being around others.

Today, the siren call came again and I found myself staring at a high school parking lot. The teens of Forks High School milled about, soaking up the last bit of freedom their mornings offered before being corralled into their classrooms until the final bell of the day. How clueless they were. The "freedom" I experience almost everyday is frightening. Although, to be fair, it's not the only frightening thing about myself that makes life harder. How I wish to be in those student's shoes. To know what I was doing with my day, whom I may see, what I might eat, and knowing where I'd be sleeping that night is a relief I long to know once again. Knowing that I should be in their shoes, that I could be one of them if life didn't kick me while I was already down, always filled me with a multitude of emotions. Anger and sadness tending to be at the forefront.

There I stood though, the masochist in all her glory. My dirty clothes, hobo hair, I'm sure, and the look of longing that was most likely plastered on my face scanning the crowd for the sense of inclusion in this normal morning for a normal teen.

That's when the throbbing started. A knocking had begun in my head that snuck up on me without preamble like all of the previous times. It was begging entrance to a door that it foolishly was unaware that I didn't even know how to open and close at will. Gazing at the lot of teens, trying to gather my last look of civilization before the loneliness of the wilderness would take me again, I locked eyes with gold. And I just couldn't move away from those eyes. Wait, eyes?

Yes…eyes. But.. who could have those? How could a person have those? As I forced my own eyes to move over the rest of this being I took in the rest. Copper hair, pale face, even paler than mine…

And a mouth that was grimacing at me. The frustrating look I was getting from this guy only slightly lessened the hold his eyes had on me. It was the tiny movement of the girl next to him that broke the moment, and only then was I able to turn around and run into the woods neighboring the school. The anxious feelings arose again and this time they reared their head with a vengeance.

Sprinting forward and as far as I could get I plunged myself into the depths of the firs and evergreens. My own body betraying me and attacking me without any warning. I stripped off what I could before my head fell back with a scream and the flames spread from my palms. My finger tips feeling the licks of fire emanating from my hands. The earth surrounding me falling victim to this obscene scene and trick against the fabric of nature. It was all too much. I could feel my vision turning black as I slumped further towards the ground. My arms lying in front of my head , I could see the telling sign of this wickedness. Two bright crosses burning red as the brand that put them there on each wrist.

Gold. Red and gold. These were the last colors I took in before a slight whimper escaped my lips and I succumbed to the black and to the feeling of being utterly and completely alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I was drowning. Drowning in a deep darkness that enveloped my every senses. I could feel it run over my skin like thousands of tiny bugs. Scampering little feet all over. When I tried to scream it rushed down my throat and filled every corner of my body. I could feel it funneling through my finger tips and shooting in all directions.I was lost. Was this death? Was I finally being punished for my sins? I always thought I'd burn. I never thought I'd drown. Sinking. Drowning.

There was an audible crack in the abyss and a hand seemed to grab me out of the dark. As if I were no more than a pea, it scooped me out of the this pit and I started to reach the surface. A tiny thread of light could be seen coming closer and closer. I reached with my arms and mind and finally….I woke.

To a pair of golden eyes.

Accompanied by a shirtless body. Reaching a hand out to my face, he brought it back to himself as if second guessing. I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. " Please don't hurt me." I whimpered without restraint. I was waiting for the panic to breach the dams of my mind but instead only the word "Other" echoed within its chambers. I stared at him, really took him in and was perplexed to find that I wasn't afraid. I couldn't feel a hint of attack, only a mere caution and curiosity. He looked at me as if he was finding the same emotions within. Although, it was hard to tell, because as soon as I spotted a glimpse of his thinking on his face it was wiped clean. He seemed to be cautious as well.

The silence was finally broken. "What are you?" It was barely a whisper but I heard it as if it was yelled. His voice captured me and I laid on the ground feeling the slight delight of the feel of velvet it brought to me. "I don't truly know" was the only answer that I seemed to be able to conjure up. Looking down I could see where his sweater and coat had disappeared to. When I saw him earlier in the parking lot he looked expensively dressed, now his clothes covered my body, blanketing me and my naked body.

Heat pooled in my cheeks as I clutched the clothes around me and moved myself further from him. The odd sensation of an elastic band seemed to stretch with the action. " You may put them on if you'd like. It's a bit cold out right now." I think he was trying at humor, but with the scene I'm sure he witnessed before I blacked out , the attempt was strained. He then turned around , giving me some privacy no doubt. I stood up to put on the clothes and was thankful to find that they covered my thighs. The cologne that lived in the fibers was also something to be grateful for.

He turned back around once I declared myself decent and the silence returned. We regarded each other with more than mild curiosity. I didn't have much history interacting with men. It was forbidden for a girl like me. Maybe that's why I felt flutters in the my stomach and could feel my heart race. Could also be the fact that I was wearing nothing but his clothes. Still, he had a very handsome and inviting face crowned with copper…. Why wasn't I running?

I made a move to go and he reached out again, this time grasping my arm. "Don't leave. Let me help you, please." I could feel his cool touch reverberate through my entire frame. I looked up at him again, "other" still being chanted within. "What are you?" This time it was I asking that. He looked at me plainly and simply stated "Edward."

/

/

/

My feet were following him without hesitation. He was magnetic and I couldn't find it in myself to resist.

He offered his hand again and just as before drew it back. I could understand the fear, but the understanding stopped there. Like myself, he seemed to display his own big question mark. A puzzle , almost complete, but missing vital pieces. We emerged slowly from the woods, each looking at the other as if they'd disappear. Suddenly, and all too soon, whatever spell that we were under seemed to be broken by the appearance of a shiny Volvo pulling up beside us. Opening the back door, Edward guided me inside, taking the passenger seat for himself.

A girl, with the same air of mystery as Edward, was in the driver's seat. Her hair was jet black, spiking at the ends. Although she looked fragile and dainty, something about her equally said that she was not. She possessed the same pale complexion as Edward and the same, unique amber eyes. "This is my sister, Alice." Edward said in explanation while looking back at me. "Hello! You must be Bella." "Alice…"

The exchange was tense and quick between the siblings. It snapped me out of the haze I was in and brought into focus the fact that Edward never told her my name. I also never gave it to Edward.

"How do yo know me!?" I could feel the panic start and I couldn't help the rising of my voice. This was insane. How did I even find myself here? Sensing my distress , Edward turned around and simply stated "We'd like to help you. Our father is a doctor." His voice soothed the beast beginning to wake inside, but a sizable concern remained. "I don't want to go to a hospital." My voice felt small but I tried to add as much demand as possible into it. "Oh, if it's alright, we were going to take you to our house. Our father is actually home today." Alice stated simply, her voice sounding like tiny bells. It also. Seemed less like a question and more of a set plan.

Alice had begun asking me questions. With the way she carried the conversation though, it left no room for answers. This was for the best though. She carried a magnetism like her brother and I didn't want to give any answers to her queries. I sealed my lips as tightly as I could. Glancing up for the first time from my feet since entering the car, I spotted Edward staring at me from the rearview mirror. The questions he sent me were silent, and I was scared to give him anymore answers.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

On the wall in front of me hung a giant wooden cross. I stared at it, transfixed, and thought about everything that's been done in the name of this symbol. All the pain and suffering. All of the wars. All of mine. And I hated it. I wanted to tear it off its nails and throw it in the sea. Watch it drown. For once it could have a turn. Watching it, with all of its "calming serenity" and all of its "answers to life's questions", all I could hear was it screaming." As if to mock me. You could tell it was ancient by the worn lines and edges it displayed. All smoothed over by time.

The age of the cross rubbed more salt in my anger. It was just another bit of evidence that this particular piece of "art" had been around long enough to possibly torment others. So, I didn't filter myself when asked me if I liked it. I'm sure it could be interpreted that I liked it from the way my eyes took it in yet " I hate it" was all that came out.

He chuckled behind me, sounding a bit taken aback by my remark. I couldn't help it though. I didn't even give myself a second to try and give a white lie. It was as involuntary as a sneeze. I turned my back on the cross and faced the patriarch of the Cullen family. He had the same pasty complexion as his children and the same aura around him telling me he was "other" as well. I stood guarded against a possible barrage of questions, yet I didn't want to leave.

The Cullen's home had a calm about it that you'd experience in a museum. Filled with expensive furnishings that looked as if the inhabitants floated around them. As if they hovered just barely about the cushions of their couches, never fully touching. It smelled sterile as if it never experienced an ounce of dust grace it's doorstep. Yet, I could feel the life swirling around it and the love that was felt in its walls. It was a home I longed for.

"My father was a pastor and carved that when I was little ", Carlisle started after a momentary pause. "He was an interesting man, in his own way. He was very adamant that I'd follow in his footsteps biblically and in his… other hobbies. I didn't end up doing either of those, and he probably would be disappointed in my choices, but I keep it up to remember him by." He smiled to himself at a memory that looked to be running around in his head. It was a sarcastic smile though and I could sense the slight bitterness in it. Once again, I couldn't help myself when I asked the next question with quite a bit of snark. "Did he chase after the boogey men too?" I looked him square in the eye after speaking, wondering if the symbol polluted him too at some point. He gave another half smile with a curious eye, "You could say that."

"If you're comfortable doing so, you're welcome to use our bathroom to take a few moments for yourself. I believe Alice might have some clothes for you so you don't have to wear Edwards." Carlisle said it with a kind smile. It was meant to reassure me and it did. Although, it held promise of a conversation I'm sure he wanted to have. Because the fact of the matter was that I was here, in his son's clothes, filthy, and goodness knows what Edward may have mentioned to him already. There was also the fact that I wasn't being treated as if I were insane. There was only curiosity. No fear. Which told me…this wasn't new to them. If it was, then only fairly new. They were too calm and understanding in their speech to not have witnessed my side of the world before. Which left me wondering…were they part of it?

I glanced over at Edward where he stood on the other side of the Cullen's living room. His arms were crossed and for a moment I could feel the banging in my head again. I started to reach my hand up to smooth the pain away at my temples when it again disappeared on its own. "Do you usually experience headaches Bella?" Keeping my eyes on Edward, I shrunk back a tad at the use of my name from Carlisle. "Sometimes" I stated plainly, " they've just been coming and going today."

\- - - - - - - - - - - —-

The Cullen's bathroom was as immaculate as the rest of their house , from what I'd seen. Little glass bottles lined the sink filled with exotic smelling perfumes, lotions, and soaps. The towels I was given were plush and soft and I took a moment to rub one across my cheek, reveling in the small joy of the comfort. Grabbing one or two of the glass bottles, I turned on the shower. Begrudgingly leaving Edward's clothes folded outside the door, and setting the clothes Alice gave me on the sink by the bottles, I stepped into the first hot shower I had taken in months.

I was unable to keep the moan that slipped past my mouth as the heat of the water touched my skin. The water around my feet turned to brown as the little bit of color on my body was washed away. A little sliver of happiness crept into my me as I enjoyed the scent of the soaps I was able to lather in. Delicate bubbles covered me richly while the room itself was filling with steam and the glorious scent of lavender. I wondered to myself how long it was appropriate to be in the bathroom and if the Cullen's would mind me staying just passed that point. It would seem a shame to not sit in the steam and soak up all of the fragrance in the air, to let it permeate my skin.

Edward was downstairs though. And his pull beat that idea instantaneously.

Wrapping myself in the luxury that was the towels, I glided my hand across the fogged mirror above the sink and stared at my reflection. My eyes were worn and my lips cracked. I found that after a thorough scrubbing, I was paler than I remembered. Dirt and grime will do that to you, I suppose.

Opening a drawer, I looked for a hairbrush to tame my knotted mane and hoped the "help yourself" that was extended to me earlier included the liberty I was taking. My thoughts drifted to Edward and I was slightly embarrassed that he saw me in my previous state….and naked. Can't forget that little detail of course. My cheeks roared red with the memory.

My eyes closed as I worked the brush through my hair. The magic potions I used doing their trick in the shower of easing some of the tangles. It felt so long since I was able to adequately brush my hair. Never being a necessity, I always just settled for running my fingers through it. Already feeling guilty for having to steal food, I didn't want the guilt of stealing little pleasures like a brush on my conscience as well. There was enough lurking there.

As I ran the brush over my head ,thoughts of the family below ran in it. Mostly of the boy with the copper crown and the amber eyes. Who, or what for that matter, were they? Could they be like me? Or were they something different than me? Although I didn't feel any outright danger, there was a peri in not knowing enough about them and them knowing too much about me. Peculiar still was the fact that my second half hadn't reared it's ugly head again with all of this attention. It loved to show itself in times of stress like this, yet was nowhere to be felt.

After making myself as decent as I could, I left the safety of the bathroom. Noticing that Edwards clothes were gone, I could only manage to just tip toe out into the hallway. Looking around, I gave a tentative "hello?" As soon as the sound left my lips a door opened at the end of the hallway and Edward slowly stepped out, closing the door behind him.

We simply stared at each other again. It was like earlier with each of us assessing the other, trying to look for something we didn't know how to find. Answers. Somewhere In those eyes I hoped to find a shred of a clue but, finding nothing, I just settled for appreciating his looks. He was handsome. No doubt about that. He was regal in the way I imagine the heroes of some of the stories I was able to read might have looked. He wore a new sweater now of emerald and I felt the loss then of the previous sweater and jacket I had donned. I wondered to myself if those clothes smelled just as irresistible as the previous ones.

The moments between us, like this one, seemed to last forever. Both of us having one-sided conversations back and forth with our eyes. Each asking and each refusing to answer for the present. Then, almost as if giving up the fight, he sighed and smiled lightly at me. Resigning himself from the mental battle, he glided up to me and stood but a foot away. He was far enough away to be polite, but close enough that a bit of intimacy could be felt. It threw me off guard. Everything about him did and a tiny thread of annoyance peaked up at this feeling. I just met the guy and already was finding myself enraptured by him. Not knowing if these emotions were normal had me at a loss but it was hard to not enjoy the feeling as well. Being around someone without needing to hide or flee… at least not completely.

" Carlisle was hoping to speak with you some more. My mother , Esme, is home as well. If it's okay she was wanting to introduce herself to you. However, if it makes you feel uncomfortable we will excuse ourselves from the conversation." The idea of Edward leaving caused me more discomfort than the idea of having any sort of discussion with Carlisle. There was the chance he would just ask if I needed any medical assistance and send me on my way. Having done a good deed of letting some homeless girl take a shower in his home, the possibility of being simply satisfied was there. But, I knew that it wasn't going to be that easy. It was likely this conversation would be like a game of chess. And I was horrible at chess.

"Please, stay." Whether he meant to include himself or not in the conversation with Carlisle I did not know. All I knew was that I was unsure if I could survive it with him out of the room.

"Stupid. Stupid Bella" I chastised myself mentally like earlier. Yet, there I was, walking side by side down the stairs with Edward, not knowing how the rest of this day would gonad what would be revealed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I could feel their questioning gazes on my back as Carlisle led me to his study. It felt like a death march no matter how much they reassured me that everything was alright. I'd given up the thought of booking it out of there. I was the moth and the Cullen's, a flame.

The study was what you'd picture a room out of a Pottery Barn catalogue to look like. Much like the rest of the house , it was immaculate and well put together. You could tell it wasn't just for show, however. The books on the shelves looked to have been well read, some papers were skewed on Carlisle's desk and a computer sat on top as well . I had been in homes where there were rooms designed just so that the family could check it off of some list. A sitting room that was never used. Dining rooms where no one really ate. Offices only there for the purpose to put miscellaneous belongings. I never had those types of rooms growing up. Everything had its purpose, as did this room.

Carlisle motioned for me to sit in a chair across from him at his desk. "Are you more comfortable now? Feel free to make yourself at home here. It's no trouble at all." I relaxed my back a little at this but I could feel tears pricking my eyes. Checking myself, I didn't feel anything inside stir quite yet which was reassuring in itself. However, the tears could not be stopped. "Please don't be afraid. You aren't in trouble and I believe I might be able to help you." Again, Carlisle spoke to calm my chaotic nerves, but how could this conversation end alright? There were too many things I didn't want brought to light.

A clipped laugh escaped me after he spoke. Nobody could help me. I couldn't even help myself. "I don't see how, doctor. Nor should you want to." I spoke calmly although I felt anything but. "Why don't we start off with how you ended up outside Forks high today and we'll go from there." He stated this as if it was so easy. It was anything but easy. Yet, I started explaining to him the days events without hesitation. "I was on my way to find some food when I saw the school. I was just people watching " I said, talking through the unease. " How did you end up in the woods?" I could feel my forehead starting to bead with sweat at this question without preamble. "I started to feel unwelcome so I ran. That's where Edward found me."

Thinking back to earlier today again and with the questions, the calm started to dissipate. Like a push and pull, my emotions were going all over the place, fighting. But, I could begin to feel my pulse in my throat which began the panic. "Where did the fire come from?" The pressure was building in my skull. It was happening so fast now. Standing up I made to leave, my body finally choosing to flee but my wrists began to flare before I could get out of the room. That's when Edward burst in at a blink of my eye followed by a blonde haired man.

Screaming out "Get back!" I tried to escape from them. Not again. Not again. Edward foolishly grabbed me at my shoulders, steadying me and looked down at my glowing wrists. My burning crosses. I could feel the flame about to come forth when the mystery man put his hand on my head and everything became muted. As if putting out a candle, the crosses at my wrist only sparked here and there as embers and smoke rose from them. I had never seen them do this, granted I'd never been conscious after the fire spread. That only happened once.

My body sagged with exhaustion and I worked to keep my eyes open. Edward was there propping me up as we slowly sank to the ground. Looking around I saw the room had more people in it now. All with pale skin. All with wide eyes. Mystery man sat back from me now, his hands dropping from my forehead.

"From me. The fire came from me." There was nothing to hide anymore in that regard. The cat was out of the bag.

/

/

/

Edward carried me downstairs to a couch some time later. Everyone gave me a wide berth except for him and Carlisle. The other blonde guy, whom I now know as Edward's brother Jasper, hovered nearby but kept his distance as well. The Cullen's were a regal bunch. All impeccable in their looks and dress. Same complexion, same cool touch. And the same question bounced about in my brain, "What are they?" After my performance upstairs, I knew there was more to them than what they showed before. Jaspers "magic hands" proved that. Were they like me?

"I'm sorry about earlier…" I started and stopped. What else could I possibly say? Fighting the weariness that had seeped into my bones, I tried to formulate more to say but gave up. The façade was blown on both sides it seemed. They witnessed my neat little fire trick, and I their… everything else. Edward was sitting next to me, just staring. Without thinking I reached out to touch his hand. He seemed taken aback but didn't move. Curious, I rubbed my wrist against the top of his hand and the relief was instant. It was the most soothing balm to my still aching crosses. "Is there someone we could call Bella?" Carlisle's voice brought me back to the moment I was in. Slowly moving my hand away I answered Carlisle with the truth. "No, there isn't. Are you going to call the police on me?" I stared up at him and the last thing I expected him to do was laugh. But he did, warmly. " I don't think that would be wise for anyone at the present." "Why is that?" A silence grew after I asked. I saw the girl introduced as Rosalie huff at this and leave the room, the front door being shut roughly behind her. Carlisle, watching her leave responded "Because, if you will, we all have our crosses to bare".

/

/

/

It was growing late in the afternoon and I was offered food and a bed upstairs in Alice's room to rest. Refusal wasn't accepted it seemed in regards to this. Edward accompanied me up while his family remained below. I'm sure the gossip and speculation would begin as soon as I left. We were both quiet as we walked upstairs to Alice's room. Her space was adorned in different shades of purples and silver. The four poster bed, although giant, didn't even take up that much of the the room. Plush rugs were felt underneath my toes and the massive room was bathed in a warm muted light. I made my way apprehensively to the bed and sat down. The linens were exceptionally soft and beckoned you to lie back and roll around with joy. I, however, was thinking about the last time I got to lie in a bed of my own. It'd been ages it seemed.

Edward slowly came over and sat down on the other side of the bed. I probably should've been apprehensive by this, but having him near was becoming an addiction and the temptation to reach out and touch him again was almost palpable. "Do you mind?" I asked lifting up my hands and showing my crosses. I liked that I didn't feel embarrassed to ask, only slightly nervous at the idea of him turning me down. "I suppose it's alright" he said with a slight smile. I moved closer to him and met his hand again with my wrist. Gliding around the top of his hand, I reveled in the sensation his skin left in its wake. A constant ache was being soothed for the first time and it felt wonderful. He grabbed my wrist with his other hand and gently turned it over so the cross was visible. He studied it carefully and gently moved a finger around its edges. I could feel my heart speeding up but not from the beast within. This was something else entirely. "How did you get these?" His voice was gentle but it held a tiny hint of suppressed anger. "Were you born with them?" He went to pull his hand away when I asked him not to stop. "For the first time, I don't feel like I'm going to lose control…" was the best thing I could think of to say in explanation and in plea. His hand returned and he also grabbed my other wrist. I showed him the crosses side by side as he moved his finger tips over the raised lines.

"How?" He asked again. Looking up at me he waited for my answer. I couldn't hold it back any longer. Nor did I want to. To finally be able to tell someone seemed almost liberating now that the fear of discovery was gone. I understood that even though I didn't know what was going on in this house, I knew that I wasn't being reported to the police or dropped off at a psych ward. "I was branded with them 6 months ago." His eyes had strayed back down to my wrists but shot back up to mine when I said this. "Why? Who did this to you?" I could see the disgust at my words creep onto his face. Feeling it was towards me I pulled my hands away only to have him quickly grab them again. "Let me help you."He repeated like earlier in the woods. Curiosity kept growing inside of me at this obvious lack of fear towards me. I was glad though to be touching him again after all of the second guessing between us today. He was beautiful and I realized that I was developing a crush on him. Although, "crush" seemed to be an immature word to use..

Gathering up my courage I asked him, "Have you ever heard of a cult?" His hands stilled.


End file.
